Comments on: When you say you love me… http://www.planetwendi.com/2009/04/when-you-say-you-love-me/ Change Your Mind! Fri, 07 Jan 2011 22:31:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Adam http://www.planetwendi.com/2009/04/when-you-say-you-love-me/comment-page-1/#comment-699 Adam Tue, 07 Jul 2009 23:43:59 +0000 http://www.planetwendi.com/?p=302#comment-699 I am so excited for him. It is encouraging to someone like me that is in the dark with his own problems. I just hope I can get the kind of help Sean got before it is too late and I lose my family and my life. I am so excited for him. It is encouraging to someone like me that is in the dark with his own problems. I just hope I can get the kind of help Sean got before it is too late and I lose my family and my life.

]]> By: Maya http://www.planetwendi.com/2009/04/when-you-say-you-love-me/comment-page-1/#comment-614 Maya Mon, 18 May 2009 17:44:41 +0000 http://www.planetwendi.com/?p=302#comment-614 Wendi, I read your story and the responses to your story because I too have a wounded son. He is 35 years now and is "managing". What I remember for myself is, regardless of how wierd the world, or "good/bad" the upbringing, our sons are pivotal in this process of change. We are all in a process of change and evolution that is so much greater than I can even comprehend right now. As the mom, I see my son as a precious tender spirit, fragile and needing care and nurturing. And as I look again, from a higher perspective, I see him still as a precious spirit, becoming stronger and wiser with each attempt to move forward and upward in his life. I remember as a human race how resourceful we all are. I remember that it hasn't always looked pretty. I remember that a good dose of humility is, ironically, what creates greater awareness of that greater picture, giving us more compassion and sharpening our ability to connect through our humanity of "being". I celebrate your courage and Shawn's courage. Thank you for sharing your journey of expansion. Namaste', Maya Wendi,
I read your story and the responses to your story because I too have a wounded son. He is 35 years now and is “managing”.
What I remember for myself is, regardless of how wierd the world, or “good/bad” the upbringing, our sons are pivotal in this process of change. We are all in a process of change and evolution that is so much greater than I can even comprehend right now. As the mom, I see my son as a precious tender spirit, fragile and needing care and nurturing. And as I look again, from a higher perspective, I see him still as a precious spirit, becoming stronger and wiser with each attempt to move forward and upward in his life. I remember as a human race how resourceful we all are. I remember that it hasn’t always looked pretty. I remember that a good dose of humility is, ironically, what creates greater awareness of that greater picture, giving us more compassion and sharpening our ability to connect through our humanity of “being”.
I celebrate your courage and Shawn’s courage. Thank you for sharing your journey of expansion.
Namaste’, Maya

]]> By: Pierrette Lyons http://www.planetwendi.com/2009/04/when-you-say-you-love-me/comment-page-1/#comment-561 Pierrette Lyons Tue, 05 May 2009 04:13:01 +0000 http://www.planetwendi.com/?p=302#comment-561 Wendi..I am so touched when I read your posts. My heart breaks for you, but at the same time I am so relieved that there is someone who feels the same way as me... and has the guts to say it like it is. I wish I were that strong. You are an amazing woman and a better mom. I hope that someday, maybe today, that you realize what you have given this world. Your spirit shines even though your heart is bruised and broken. I pray that your family has all the wonderful outcomes that you truly deserve. Thank you for sharing. It really helps me get perspective on my feelings also, since my 27 yr old (and all of my family) is going thru the same things as your Sean. Thank you for all you do, and all that you are. Wendi..I am so touched when I read your posts. My heart breaks for you, but at the same time I am so relieved that there is someone who feels the same way as me… and has the guts to say it like it is. I wish I were that strong. You are an amazing woman and a better mom. I hope that someday, maybe today, that you realize what you have given this world. Your spirit shines even though your heart is bruised and broken. I pray that your family has all the wonderful outcomes that you truly deserve. Thank you for sharing. It really helps me get perspective on my feelings also, since my 27 yr old (and all of my family) is going thru the same things as your Sean. Thank you for all you do, and all that you are.

]]> By: John Martinez http://www.planetwendi.com/2009/04/when-you-say-you-love-me/comment-page-1/#comment-542 John Martinez Sun, 03 May 2009 23:50:24 +0000 http://www.planetwendi.com/?p=302#comment-542 As someone too familiar with addictions, I wish you and your son well on this journey. As someone too familiar with addictions, I wish you and your son well on this journey.

]]> By: Bridgett http://www.planetwendi.com/2009/04/when-you-say-you-love-me/comment-page-1/#comment-541 Bridgett Sun, 03 May 2009 13:12:11 +0000 http://www.planetwendi.com/?p=302#comment-541 I'm also a hypnotist. My recovering (I hope -- he swears) son will let me hypnotize him, but he usually declines my attempts to take him for neurofeedback, accupuncture, etc. He doesn't want to try a lot of different hypnosis, he just wants to do the shape-shifting session where he gets to be different animals. I do this one with him over and over hoping, believing, praying this gives him strength and courage to stay clean and come to terms with his life. When he was about 10 years old, I had a dream that I drove up into the drive and found him in the yard surrounded by lions. I got out of the car, in a panic, and told him to move slowly toward me. "don't worry, mom," he said. "They're protecting me." I hold onto that dream, and pray there are lions surrounding him, protecting him. I’m also a hypnotist. My recovering (I hope — he swears) son will let me hypnotize him, but he usually declines my attempts to take him for neurofeedback, accupuncture, etc. He doesn’t want to try a lot of different hypnosis, he just wants to do the shape-shifting session where he gets to be different animals. I do this one with him over and over hoping, believing, praying this gives him strength and courage to stay clean and come to terms with his life.
When he was about 10 years old, I had a dream that I drove up into the drive and found him in the yard surrounded by lions. I got out of the car, in a panic, and told him to move slowly toward me.
“don’t worry, mom,” he said. “They’re protecting me.”
I hold onto that dream, and pray there are lions surrounding him, protecting him.

]]> By: Sandy http://www.planetwendi.com/2009/04/when-you-say-you-love-me/comment-page-1/#comment-538 Sandy Sat, 02 May 2009 21:15:11 +0000 http://www.planetwendi.com/?p=302#comment-538 Hi Wendi.... I posted a very long winded writing on your "The Wind" blog.......it concerns me that you are taking so...much responsibility for your 25 year old son (please read my writing if you are so...inspired). You have been so....incredibly generous in spending 100K on your son's rehab experiences and in continuing to stand by him (you are one fabulous Mom)....... I didn't take the rehab route with my daughter's opiate addiction(s)........it's been a whole lot of tough love, tears, sleepless nights and hard work....... You are amazing Wendi! You keep on keepin' on girl! I am with ya in spirit and we are in this together.......I love that!!!!! Love to you, Sean and the rest of your family! Sandy Hi Wendi….

I posted a very long winded writing on your “The Wind” blog…….it concerns me that you are taking so…much responsibility for your 25 year old son (please read my writing if you are so…inspired). You have been so….incredibly generous in spending 100K on your son’s rehab experiences and in continuing to stand by him (you are one fabulous Mom)……. I didn’t take the rehab route with my daughter’s opiate addiction(s)……..it’s been a whole lot of tough love, tears, sleepless nights and hard work…….

You are amazing Wendi! You keep on keepin’ on girl! I am with ya in spirit and we are in this together…….I love that!!!!!

Love to you, Sean and the rest of your family!
Sandy

]]> By: SimoneSays http://www.planetwendi.com/2009/04/when-you-say-you-love-me/comment-page-1/#comment-534 SimoneSays Thu, 30 Apr 2009 18:00:16 +0000 http://www.planetwendi.com/?p=302#comment-534 Hi Wendi, Perhaps only another mother can understand the hole in your heart. A small piece of you has been ripped away; the small piece called "innocence". Baby Sean, innocent Sean; the laughing, carefree youth of earlier years has been replaced in your memory. In essence, you are experiencing a real death...the death of the Dream. That Dream was your own picture and wish for the future life of your child. Even though picturing your son as happy, carefree and innocent is a good thing, we can only guide and love unconditionally. Once we have done that, we step back and release our treasured nestlings to the laws of gravity, the Law of the Jungle and so many other perils and pleasures that they must experience on their own. Wendi, I have the feeling that your guidance and your love were firmly in place to be able to give Sean all that he needed to live life to the fullest. You have been strong and vigilent for so long. You have been 100% "there" for him and he seems to know it. Perhaps it is high time for Sean to be strong and vigilent too. My daughter remarked to me once, "Mom, you have always been a rock and I know I can depend on you for anything. But I don't always know that I can depend on ME and that's why I test myself at times." Sean holds within him many powerful cellular memories inheirited from you. My hope and prayer is that he quickly understands that he has your same extraordinary ability to turn his life around; just as you did when you were down and desperate with only $10 to feed your kids. In Celtic, Sean means "God is great". Since we are all god-like by possessing the spark of the Creator within us, the name Sean could also mean "Sean is great." To you and your cherished son: may Sean allow his greatness to possess him. from my heart to yours, Simone Hi Wendi,
Perhaps only another mother can understand the hole in your heart.
A small piece of you has been ripped away; the small piece called “innocence”.

Baby Sean, innocent Sean; the laughing, carefree youth of earlier years has been replaced in your memory. In essence, you are experiencing a real death…the death of the Dream.

That Dream was your own picture and wish for the future life of your child. Even though picturing your son as happy, carefree and innocent is a good thing, we can only guide and love unconditionally. Once we have done that, we step back and release our treasured nestlings to the laws of gravity, the Law of the Jungle and so many other perils and pleasures that they must experience on their own.

Wendi, I have the feeling that your guidance and your love were firmly in place to be able to give Sean all that he needed to live life to the fullest. You have been strong and vigilent for so long. You have been 100% “there” for him and he seems to know it.

Perhaps it is high time for Sean to be strong and vigilent too. My daughter remarked to me once, “Mom, you have always been a rock and I know I can depend on you for anything. But I don’t always know that I can depend on ME and that’s why I test myself at times.”

Sean holds within him many powerful cellular memories inheirited from you. My hope and prayer is that he quickly understands that he has your same extraordinary ability to turn his life around; just as you did when you were down and desperate with only $10 to feed your kids.

In Celtic, Sean means “God is great”. Since we are all god-like by possessing the spark of the Creator within us, the name Sean could also mean “Sean is great.”

To you and your cherished son: may Sean allow his greatness to possess him.

from my heart to yours,

Simone

]]> By: Carolyn Webber http://www.planetwendi.com/2009/04/when-you-say-you-love-me/comment-page-1/#comment-533 Carolyn Webber Thu, 30 Apr 2009 15:53:00 +0000 http://www.planetwendi.com/?p=302#comment-533 Wendi, First I'd like to say that I am a big fan; I have quite a library of your cd's. Thank you for all your help. Secondly, I validate your pain. Nothing hurts more than the fate of our children. Wendi, Sean does not have to live a life of "hanging on by his fingernails". I, too, am an alcoholic/addict. Twleve and a half years ago, I entered the program of AA. It was the most important decision I ever made in my life. I found unconditional love, support and the arena to grow into a mature, useful human being. I learned the nearly impossible task of being able to "look at myself". Twenty-two months ago, my beautiful, compassionate, intelligent 22 year old son died of a misdiagnosed benign brain tumor. Because of my program of AA, I did not drink. But even more profoundly, I forgave. The NA program in our small Canadian town is amazing. These young people have clean and sober dances, sport teams, camp outs, etc. And never have I seen so many beautiful, focused young women. Sean can live a useful, joyful life. By-the-way, this is the first time I have ever posted a comment online. Your story moved me very much. Kudos for your courage Wendi - Thanks for sharing. Wendi,
First I’d like to say that I am a big fan; I have quite a library of your cd’s. Thank you for all your help.
Secondly, I validate your pain. Nothing hurts more than the fate of our children.
Wendi, Sean does not have to live a life of “hanging on by his fingernails”.
I, too, am an alcoholic/addict. Twleve and a half years ago, I entered the program of AA. It was the most important decision I ever made in my life. I found unconditional love, support and the arena to grow into a mature, useful human being. I learned the nearly impossible task of being able to “look at myself”.
Twenty-two months ago, my beautiful, compassionate, intelligent 22 year old son died of a misdiagnosed benign brain tumor. Because of my program of AA, I did not drink. But even more profoundly, I forgave.
The NA program in our small Canadian town is amazing. These young people have clean and sober dances, sport teams, camp outs, etc. And never have I seen so many beautiful, focused young women.
Sean can live a useful, joyful life.
By-the-way, this is the first time I have ever posted a comment online. Your story moved me very much. Kudos for your courage Wendi – Thanks for sharing.

]]> By: Mariah Lohman http://www.planetwendi.com/2009/04/when-you-say-you-love-me/comment-page-1/#comment-532 Mariah Lohman Thu, 30 Apr 2009 06:02:36 +0000 http://www.planetwendi.com/?p=302#comment-532 Wendy, You have done all that is right and possible as a loving, careing mother. Sean has a story that needs to be told, it may come out in bits and pieces or may take days for him to get through. Maybe Sean can't tell you everything because he has blocked it out from himself for reasons even he doesn't understand. Please encourage him to spill on you with any thoughts or words that come to mind and don't analyze him but try to see through his own eyes the purpose that led to his actions. As he rants and rages somewhere the bits and pieces will slip out that form the true story, from Sean's eyes it is hard to talk to a mom that knows so much and can change so many with hypnotism, remove yourself from being the super mom that you are and listen to your son as a common cellie...a careing person he could talk to without being analyzed or judged. Everybody has a story that must be told, from being in a SCI Sean knows every word he speaks is analyzed to infinity and compared to others. His story is unique, it is not like any other and that I believe is the only way it can finally be heard, with Sean in total control of how it is told. I learned this from a person in prison that I didn't even know but met through a friend that asked me to get involved because he felt I was the only person who would be able to help. We both spilled our guts to each other and when the truth came out it was from the heart, after almost 10 years in prison he finally wrote to his parents to spill his guts on them, he was afraid all this time they would reject him but to his supprise they said it's OK we still love you no matter what you are. Please write me directly if I can fill in any blanks, I'm just and ordinary person with a high school education. All my best to you and yours, Mariah Wendy,
You have done all that is right and possible as a loving, careing mother. Sean has a story that needs to be told, it may come out in bits and pieces or may take days for him to get through. Maybe Sean can’t tell you everything because he has blocked it out from himself for reasons even he doesn’t understand. Please encourage him to spill on you with any thoughts or words that come to mind and don’t analyze him but try to see through his own eyes the purpose that led to his actions. As he rants and rages somewhere the bits and pieces will slip out that form the true story, from Sean’s eyes it is hard to talk to a mom that knows so much and can change so many with hypnotism, remove yourself from being the super mom that you are and listen to your son as a common cellie…a careing person he could talk to without being analyzed or judged. Everybody has a story that must be told, from being in a SCI Sean knows every word he speaks is analyzed to infinity and compared to others. His story is unique, it is not like any other and that I believe is the only way it can finally be heard, with Sean in total control of how it is told. I learned this from a person in prison that I didn’t even know but met through a friend that asked me to get involved because he felt I was the only person who would be able to help. We both spilled our guts to each other and when the truth came out it was from the heart, after almost 10 years in prison he finally wrote to his parents to spill his guts on them, he was afraid all this time they would reject him but to his supprise they said it’s OK we still love you no matter what you are. Please write me directly if I can fill in any blanks, I’m just and ordinary person with a high school education.
All my best to you and yours,
Mariah

]]> By: Jeannine http://www.planetwendi.com/2009/04/when-you-say-you-love-me/comment-page-1/#comment-531 Jeannine Thu, 30 Apr 2009 06:02:20 +0000 http://www.planetwendi.com/?p=302#comment-531 Hi Beautiful Lady Wendi, I am so sorry you are having struggle, You like me a single mom & a mom our children are our most enduring "work". As helpers we are often prodded to learn to receive help as well. Two things,that you know already yet sometimes we need to hear it from someone else. 1 have found that when I process the things that come up for me in relationship to my child, when I seek help from a colleque to clear my stuff, it always positively effectts my child. They are great motivations for us to seek our own shifts so that we might help them : ) Also I had mentioned to you at IHF about the Neuro Pathway Restructuring process that I trained in with Debra Fentress. I would be more than happy to help, yet Debra is the expert here, she tested it out working with addicts with great success. Let me know if you want more info , Blessings Jeannnine Hi Beautiful Lady Wendi,
I am so sorry you are having struggle, You like me a single mom & a mom our children are our most enduring “work”. As helpers we are often prodded to learn to receive help as well.
Two things,that you know already yet sometimes we need to hear it from someone else. 1 have found that when I process the things that come up for me in relationship to my child, when I seek help from a colleque to clear my stuff, it always positively effectts my child. They are great motivations for us to seek our own shifts so that we might help them : )
Also I had mentioned to you at IHF about the Neuro Pathway Restructuring process that I trained in with Debra Fentress. I would be more than happy to help, yet Debra is the expert here, she tested it out working with addicts with great success.
Let me know if you want more info , Blessings Jeannnine

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